


Binary Stars

by merethengilith



Series: Reader x The Kenobae [2]
Category: Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Light Angst, Mentions of Anakin, Mentions of the Clone Wars, Multi, Pre-Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, gratuitous use of astronomy terms, just a lot of yearning and pining my dudes, let my boi obi wan be soft and vulnerable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:34:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24456040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merethengilith/pseuds/merethengilith
Summary: “But what is that?” The young Jedi sitting beside you had asked, pointing to two stars so close together they seemed almost as one.“Binary stars.” You had replied, recalling some footnote in your lessons. “Two stars trapped within each other’s gravitational orbits and destined to eventually collide.”Defying the code and months on end spent apart were never easy for either of you. And no matter how sure both you and Obi-Wan were, those hairline stress points would break eventually. All you could hope for was to survive minute after minute together.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Reader
Series: Reader x The Kenobae [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1750459
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	Binary Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Uh lemme just uh rant about my feelings about being in a secret relationship because I specialise on that front. 10/10 would not recommend that particular experience my dudes unless you want your 1 am phone calls to sound like this. 
> 
> You can read this as both reader and Obi being Jedi, it’s left fairly ambiguous. But it is set more or less during Obi-Wan's down time in the Clone Wars.

_“But what is that?” The young Jedi sitting beside you had asked, pointing to two stars so close together they seemed almost as one._

_“Binary stars.” You had replied, recalling some footnote in your lessons. “Two stars trapped within each other’s gravitational orbits and destined to eventually collide.”_

_“Inescapably so?”_

_“I guess.”_

* * *

The first thing that alerted you was the idle feeling of wetness upon your cheeks, like the gentle fall of rain against your skin. Part of your mind was convinced that it was all part of a dream, the other- no the other began to rouse you from your sleep, eyes opening and adjusting to the darkness of your room. Speeders raced past your curtained windows, looking to all the world like blurs of passing colours and stars. And you became aware of a warm body pressed against your side, holding you fast.

“Forgive me,” His voice choked out, you instantly lifted your hand to Obi-Wan’s face, his forehead pressed against yours. “I shouldn’t have woken you up.”

You sat up, tucking loose strands of hair behind his ears, brows furrowing at the sight of his face. “No, no darling, you haven’t done anything wrong.” Your lips found their way to the corner of his eye, feeling the wetness of tears as you tried your best to wipe them away with your sleeve. “What is it? Obi?”

His eyes looked down towards the tangled sheets for a moment before meeting yours again, words unable to come to his tongue. You continued to press kisses against the familiar warmth of his skin, fingers idly brushing the scruff of his beard as you traced a line of kisses from cheek to jaw. Your nose was now buried into the crook of his neck as you both sat in a tight embrace, arms looped around his shoulders as Obi-Wan’s wrapped around your waist. He smelled of comfort and the herbs folded into his robes for storage. Clean, honest, without pretention. And despite however much you thought the pain would stop, a wave of sadness washed over you once again. And you held onto him tighter, feeling him respond in kind.

No matter how long you’d both spent apart, you felt as if these moments together were never real. Like living a life that was not truly your own. And in those moments your heart numbed itself to the ache and desperation of longing, willing to let you act as if everything was fine. As if you didn’t spend each waking instant together yearning that the next and the one after and the one after that would be the same.

In the days after Obi-Wan would return to the war front, you would spend what felt like hours in bed, fingers feeling the phantom touches of a face you had become so intimately familiar with, your skin remembering what it felt like to have calloused hands gently skim along the curve of your cheek. You don’t know for how much longer you could do this, but you would. You said you would. You knew the price of that love, and you knew you would bear that pain in the knowledge that he was yours.

“Do you hate me?” You never thought he could sound so… so defeated. “I’ve caused you such pain and it’s all my fault.”

You raised your head, hand resting upon the side of his face. “Stars, how could I ever hate you?”

It wasn’t always like this.

Once you had both been reckless. Running through streets and racing speeder bikes, stealing kisses in alleyways where no prying Jedi Master could see. Perhaps you had both simply grown up, and the crawling nightmare that was the war weighing down upon both of you. But sometimes, even now, those stolen kisses behind senate buildings still felt as thrilling as the first. And sometimes you would hear Obi-Wan laugh as clearly as he had once done. He wasn’t built for infinite sadness, no, no how could someone who lit up the way he did ever deserve that?

“I made my choice.” You finally whispered back, leaning in to kiss him. It seared, feeling your very breath stolen from you as his hands buried themselves into your hair. As you pulled apart his teeth caught your lower lip for the smallest moment, nibbling a little, taking all of your self-control to pull away. There would be moments to continue this, but not now. He needed something else.

“You can always leave.” He murmured into your skin, pressing yet another kiss against your forehead. “Be happy.”

“But it won’t be you. It wouldn’t be the same.” You said back, tilting his chin down with your fingers so you could meet his gaze. “I could leave you, yes. But nothing will stop me from feeling as if the universe were pulling us together. Like heavenly bodies upon a collision course. I won’t leave you, and nothing you say can make me.”

“But am I worth this pain?” He was almost pleading with you now, both hands cradling the sides of your face. “I’m just a Jedi. Not some brilliant senator or wealthy nobility.”

Your mind raced with the memories of freckles on a padawan after too much sun, of a General singing idly as he made a mug of tea. You were consumed with the ache of all those quiet moments spent memorising the lines of his face and the shape of his lips and the way he frowned when he couldn’t quite understand something. The way he laughed about his former padawan just as much as he claimed Anakin would send him to an early grave. But above all else, your mind was filled with the memories of watching him work upon his datapad, a quiet intensity in his eyes as he strategized for yet another mission.

How could you _want_ anyone else?

“No, you’re not.” Your lips met the palm of his hand, “You’re a good man Obi-Wan Kenobi. All the pain in the universe would be worth it just so I can see you smile.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed that angstfest (rip im sorry I swear I meant to write something more happy), please feel free to comment or leave fic suggestions ^.^
> 
> This piece is also cross-posted on my tumblr at if-weshadows-haveoffended if ya'll would like to read some more stuff.


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